Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Taylor Swift's Dirty Little Secret Will Make You Sick... It's All About AGENDA 21, Look It Up!!.

   F.Y.I.: FaceBook will be closed February 29, 30 and 31st. Please make a note of it.

   New York on terror alert as Al Qaeda threaten to crash submarines into the Empire State Building.

   I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend. Until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park.

   Like, if you believe that HR is stupid and evil.

   Wanna have crooked green teeth? Move to the UK, you wont be out of place there

   I think I have found the answer to our h omosexual problem. The butch women who think they are men should hook up with those girly men who think they are female. Problem solved.

   Thank you President Elect Trump for your Service in the Military on this Veterans Day.....oh......

   ‎Lady Gaga came as a man ... Nicki Minaj came as GaGa & Jay-Z Came inside Beyoncé.... *LIKE* this if you agree LMAO.... :D

   At a rally tonight Donald Trump asked, "How stupid are the people of this country?" He should know since they're all at his rally.

   doing the truffle shuffle

   I'm following around cop cars all day to let them know how it feels.

   the reason for reason

   Why is Obama so interested in "liberating" Libya anyways, is he planning a vacation there?

   90% of the prison poulation believes in God. 90% of The Academy of Sciences are atheists. Personally, I'd rather have the guy in the white lab coat as a bunk mate

   If you have time to golf during a national emergency, I guess you must be doing something right.

   I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.

   Thanks for inviting me to your Bible study, let's get balls deep in Jesus.

   what's twelve inches and makes girls wanna have sex with me? my hunting knife

   I READ Smoking is bad So I gave up smoking I read drinkiing was bad so I gave up drinking I heard Sex Was bad so I gave up on reading