santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   wants to personally apologize for those that couldn't get their gifts from Santa: He died of laughter when I told him I had been nice all year......

   I asked my wife what she wants for Christmas. She said, "Oh, nothing special." So I'm giving her a framed picture of her t!ts.

   Xmas is derived from a mixture of Greek and English. Greeks used X as the symbol for Chi, Christo or Xristo. X is the Greek symbol for Christ. In early Christian times, X was used as the symbol for Christ himself.

   gonna buy a real tree sometime this week, hope it doesnt end up like amy winehouse, dead...5' 6 and surrounded by needles by christmas...

   Dear Santa, please let me take a look of your good girls gone bad list.

   What's with everyone calling it "Holiday decorations" back in my day, we called it a little something like Christmas.

   Everybody's broke, so here's the rule for Christmas this year; if you still sh*t your pants, you get a present. Otherwise tough sh*t.

   that if an old, fat man comes down you chimney tonight, creeps into your bedroom and kidnaps you don't worry! I asked santa for a friend for christmas and he is just getting me one :)

   knows a lot of people that will corner the market on coal this Christmas

   I'm buying 100 Gyro-bowls for Christmas. I'm tired of spilling my vodka when I stumble out of the bathroom. who wants one?

   The thing guys want most for Christmas: A portrait of themselves in a karate outfit, leaning against a sweet Trans Am.

   it's nearing the festive season again and so just a reminder that a doggy is not just for christmas, it's a great position all year round!

   Trying to find a website with all the WikiLeaks information just in case they also have Santa's naughty list!

   Some relatives are like seeing Santa; you only care to see them once a year.

   Using a stapler and duct tape sure makes wrapping presents easy....

   hopes Santa got Charlie Brown a football tee this year.

   For this is a special time when family And friends get togetherfor fun. Wishing laughter and fun to cheer your days, In this festive season of holidays and always!!!

   Only 259 more shopping days till Christmas

   if any more of these Mel Gibson tapes get released you'll be able to buy the box set from Time Life by XMas

   I think it's time I go outside and pretend I'm putting up Christmas lights I never took down from last year.