life Funny Status Messages

   Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status.

   Just saw a doctor eating an apple. My whole life is a lie.

   Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.

   says As a young child Bell, Biv, Devoe taught me the most important life lesson----Never trust a big butt and a smile....that girl is poison

   Whenever I see a guy in jean shorts I feel sad that he has nobody in his life to say, "You really shouldn't wear those."

   I've met some pricks in my life, but you sir are a fcuking Cactus.

   thought about dozens of Vampire movies and shows for the past decade and wondered which ones sucked the life out him and the ones that just sucked.

   Never reject anybody in your life, because good people give us happiness and bad people give us experience. Both are essential in life!

   My whole life flashes in front of me when I hear the words ‘We need to talk'.

   Seems like everyone is either trying to pretend they have the life they want, or escape the life they have.

   College kids please choose a career in something you love and you'll never work a day in your life, because that dream job isn't hiring....

   somedays I could do without the life lesson!

   In sign language, the entire story of my life can be told with a series of face palms.

   I can tell by the way you keep snapping your gum in my ear that you really don't value your life at all.

   I'll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I'm thinking to myself..."Umm...isn't that what real life is for?"

   "It's the little things in life that make you laugh," my mom used to say. I never understood it until I saw two midgets fighting at Walmart.

   I thought at this stage of my life, I would have at least one concubine.

   You can always tell which friends have no life, you can never get a poke up on them.

   ahhh! The life of an overworked Zombie

   Life is 10% of what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it!