love Funny Status Messages
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.not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every retard can read, but look at you go!
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02-28-2010 00:44
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Dear nose-phobic as*holes who made fun of me when I was a kid. Over the years, I have made almost nine figures in royalties from my TV special - while YOU clowns were strapped to the hood of some dude's truck. Karma's a b*tch. Love, Rudolph
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12-13-2014 21:35
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Fuzzy, shaved, hairy, landing strip, brazilian, I love them all..
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01-17-2012 13:38
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Do I really have to explain why I love you? Okay fine. I love you because you give good head.
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01-07-2012 04:35
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Everyone's like "I love Obama" or "I love Romney" and I'm just over here like "I love whiskey and beer"
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10-18-2012 18:56
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It's always so awkward ending phone calls with loved ones, I always say "I love you" and they're like, "thank you for choosing domino's"
Oww a dorito just stabbed the roof of my mouth...how could something I love so much hurt me like this.
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02-24-2013 11:16
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For the love of God, ASK me, don't AXE me!
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06-26-2012 22:45 by BEGO
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Dear Women, We're not lying, we're trying to prevent you from killing us. Love, Men
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05-13-2012 09:54 by Czovczov
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Sometimes I wish I could be like Jeff Probst from Survivor. I'd love to walk into a Shift Briefing at work and say,"The Tribe Has Spoken"!!! Then walk over and extinguish their torch and tell them to pack their belongings and get the @#$% out!!!
Love is blind. It's also drunk, has a wooden leg, Tourette's, a crippling fear of heights & if you poke it with a stick it plays dead.
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07-19-2015 19:33 by snotty
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Thank you, flowers, for being the perfect way to say, "My love for you is beautiful but will die very soon."
whats the difference between love & a sandwich? I'm great at making a sandwich
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03-15-2013 14:32 by Eddy
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Valentine's Day : Because love isn't quite complicated enough as it is....
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02-14-2011 12:08
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Love is like a glass door… Sometimes you don't see it and it smacks you right in the face.
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03-04-2011 19:00 by lily
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Love is like a rubberband. We keep pulling, someone lets go and the one who held on gets hurt
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06-30-2011 07:07 by Fox
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if you want to make me nervous, tell me that you love me.
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08-02-2012 13:08
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No thanks "Love Quotes" account. I get all my love quotes from P0rnHub.
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11-27-2014 01:20 by Baddie
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How I love #Monday. On a different subject. Have you ever met someone for the first time and wanted to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?
What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spit, swallow, and gargle.
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01-30-2012 20:49 by fadolo
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