nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   wondering, Just how do I get in contact with Paul the octopus during football season?

   "There are no stupid questions" - People who have never tried to watch football with their girlfriends.

   - For sale:- One pair of world cup football boots, mint condition, no scuffs, Contact Wayne Rooney for more info.

   I miss Sunday afternoon football. The people living in this house keep trying to speak to me.

   Football officially starts its regular Sunday rotation tomorrow. So ladies, if there's anything that you wanna say to your husband, today's the day!

   Philadelphia is out of batteries. Not sure if its cause of the hurricane or cause football season is about to start

   Between Black Friday and Cyber Monday, there is Sit on My Ass and Watch Football Sunday!

   No one wants to watch your Facebook live video from your crappy seats at a football game.

   If you are throwing a football, a baseball or kicking a soccer ball in a park, you need to be more than six feet apart. If you aren't, you're in big trouble because you really suck at your sport.

   Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner said that the wierdest thing about transforming into a woman is that he still likes watching football but he no longer really understands it.

   I take some pride in the fact that I don't need football season to be a terrible husband.

   Does anyone know how to cancel a bid on eBay?? I put in a bid for a "Mickey Mouse outfit" and now it seems I am only 15 minutes away from owning the "Dallas Cowboys Football Team"..

   Football is a game in which a handful of men run around for one and a half hours watched by millions of people who could really use the exercise.

   Ladies, it's football season. Time to dust off your vibrat0rs.

   It may be Pre-Season Football, but I'm drinking like this game really counts.

   I love a hot chick in a football jersey. Or a regular shirt. Or a dress. Or naked. Whatever

   Don't judge me for saying girlfriends don't watch football. If you have a girlfriend that loves football, she should be your wife!

   Looks like Madonna and I have something in common...Neither of us have ever sung at the Superbowl

   My friends say that I'm gay because I don't like football. What a bunch of idiots. I'm gay because I like c0ck.

   Today is worse than the day my brothers broke my nose with their stupid football. RIP Davy- Marsha B