santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages
Search results for status messages containing 'santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs': View All Messages
Page: 48 of 86
If one more person says "all I want for christmas is you" they are gonna get me... with a baseball bat
←Rate |
12-23-2010 14:13
Comments (0)
Just filled up my gas tank and now I have to explain to the kids I don't have why there won't be a Christmas this year.
if my right leg was christmas and my left leg was easter, I would love for you to visit in between the holidays
←Rate |
12-24-2009 08:42
Comments (0)
If you leave out Weight Watchers cookies I will burn your house down. - SANTA
←Rate |
11-08-2011 13:21
Comments (0)
Got a talking scale for Christmas. First thing it said was "one at a time, please..."
←Rate |
12-29-2012 18:16
Comments (0)
thankful that I have a job and can afford a nice Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas...and beer
←Rate |
11-20-2011 14:28 by Migasjoe
Comments (0)
I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, The FedEx guy, and the Walmart greeter... C'MON MOM, KNOCK IT OFF! ツ
The ads on the right-hand side of my screen are for Meth awareness, 'Get Yourtself Tested' & buy or lease a Jaguar this Christmas...So, Facebook has catagorized me as a disease-infested, drug-loving sl*t that needs a car & dosn't care for the environment.
←Rate |
12-14-2011 21:05
Comments (0)
I would not even buy my worst enemy a selfie stick for christmas present. I am not that cold.
←Rate |
12-10-2015 10:40
Comments (0)
I'm at my wife's company Christmas party and there is like zero pus sy here. I hate Christmas.
←Rate |
12-13-2013 01:24
Comments (0)
He's making a list,, and checking it 42 times,,, then washing his hands 11x,, and finally touching the sleigh 3x for good measure...: OCD Santa
←Rate |
07-12-2012 14:47 by snotty
Comments (0)
So I hear Sandusky's Santa application has been rejected...
I can't believe they're holding off until Christmas for the M̶c̶D̶e̶a̶t̶h̶ McRib this season.....What better time of year for your McBowels to get the McMoves like McJagger and ruin your holiday?!
Twas the night before Christmas, and I have not a joke, just a bunch of these presents and now I am broke. I shall awake in the mornin and hear all the chatter, watch my children open gifts realizing the clothes dont matter. To all of you out there I wish
←Rate |
12-24-2010 13:24 by Kelly
Comments (0)
out spreading Christmas Cheer by streaking at sporting events.
←Rate |
12-21-2009 15:03
Comments (0)
Chevy Chase has been getting that Christmas tree for over 20 years. You'ld think he would finally remember a saw.
Good Lord...Pink For Cancer, Red For Cards, Orange for Halloween, and Now Blue for Bullying! October has More damn color in it than a strand of Christmas Lights!
←Rate |
10-02-2014 21:26 by p0lel0ck
Comments (0)
Every time someone uses Xmas instead of Christmas a kitten gets punched in the balls.
←Rate |
12-25-2014 08:32
Comments (0)
Santa must be a man. No woman would be caught dead wearing the same clothes every Christmas!
Every Christmas Eve my family tries to break the record of number of people stuffed into one kitchen.
[Search Results] [View All Messages]