life Funny Status Messages

   I like to take a day off every now and then to create the illusion of a real life.

   i was thinkin about adoption to fill the void in my life, if only I could find someone willing to adopt me..

   n't it ironic that to be popular on social networks, you have to sacrifice your social life.

   Life's best lessons are learned at the worst times.

   When a tree falls in the forest and no one is there, does it make a sound?... When blondes have more fun do they know it? Just a couple of life's riddles that beg for an answer.

   Happy anniversary to the love of my life, and her husband Steve.

   I have a feeling his life would have gone in a different direction had his name been Kanye East.

   school and life are similar in a way. In school, you learn a lesson and then take a test. In life, you come across a test that teaches you a lesson.

   Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself.

   It's scary how your life is based on how well you do as a teenager

   Sometimes The Best Things In Life Are Worth Waiting For.. So Wait For Me I Will Be Right Back...

   Remember how simple and happy life was before you met me? Yeah…I am sorry about that.

   ...... No people ... the change in governmental administrations is not a sane reason to descend into a real life "Hunger Games" in this country .... Believe it or not it has actually happened before!!

   If you even suspect someone has been stung by a jellyfish -don't ask- just pee on them. You might save a life.

   Ladies, easy way to tell if a guy is married? Look into his eyes, if there is any sign of life left, he's single.

   never regret doing things that will make you happy. we have but one life to live.. it's too short to dwell on negativities.

   Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.

   Well, I've officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.

   To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.

   Next time I make a comment about an ugly Christmas sweater I'm going to make sure there is a party going on. Another life lesson learned!