Exercise Funny Status Messages

   I am starting my diet and exercise program next Monday – I am tired of looking like I ATE four children instead of like I HAVE four children…

   How do you get Americans to exercise their right to vote when you can't even get them to exercise?

   I would do anything to be hot, except eat healthy and exercise

   There's only one kind of exercise I know and its the beer run.

   It's time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it's over

   I don't get it with these weight loss pills that say "along with diet and exercise" they can help you lose weight. Come on. The whole point of taking a weight loss pill should be so I don't have to diet and exercise.

   I've started a new exercise regime. Every morning, before I get out of bed, I do one sit-up.

   Whenever I say the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with pie!

   I didn't text you just to exercise my fingers, I was expecting a reply back...

   i am in no shape to exercise

   Ugh,,, You'd think this restless leg syndrome would be exercise enough.

   It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

   Dear skinny gym girls... exercise and yoga pants don't fix ugly.

   After exercising I always eat a Pizza. Just Kidding, I don't exercise !!

   Would do anything for happiness but not like diet and exercise or staying off social media and seeking help from a professional.

   The kids complained that I was making them run laps around the house for exercise, so now they’re running laps with a vacuum cleaner.

   Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

   My middle finger seems to get more exercise on Monday than any other day of the week.

   Time for the shake weight exercise, minus the shake weight.

   I don't like exercise so I'm not going to walk a mile in your shoes. I'll judge you standing right here.