friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Happy Friday!! And to all my Atheist and Agnostic friends out there... T_IF!!

   "6 packs of smokes. A case of beer. 2 box's of condoms. A lotto ticket & $2.00 gas on pump 8" ... Now thats a friday night thats ready for a good time but aint going far!!

   decided to burn some calories this weekend so I set a fat kid on fire.

   There is a quadriplegic convention downtown this weekend. That place is going to be crawling with people!

   I once gave up fishing. It was the most terrifying weekend of my life.

   it's friday the 13th and storming. Not gonna lie, I'm half expecting Jason to come knocking on my door...

   You know that movie where the guy needs to keep his adrenaline level up or he dies? My weekend was just like that, except the opposite.

   3 Pints of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, a wrench, and handcuffs made out of Twizzlers. I'm ready for bootycall Friday night to begin!

   It's FRIDAY!!! CARPE SCROTUM . . . seize the day by the balls!!!

   I tripped over the "Hump" in Hump Day and landed face first into Thirsty Thursday. Time to pick myself and my drink up so I can fall into Friday.

   Will somebody let me borrow their Delorean to travel to friday already!

   2 days ago: ''We must help solve poverty here first and foremost!'' Today: ''All right! Black Friday is coming!''. Morons

   I cant wait till black friday at the liquor store

   X says Well, it's easy to tell I'm single. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status...

   Corporate says we are having a half day at work today for 'April Day'. It's 2014, we can't even say Good Friday anymore? Society.

   Its Memorial Day Weekend and we have the media shoving Kanye & Kim’s wedding down out throats? I doubt this is what our fallen solders of WWII fought so bravely to defeat the Nazi’s. On behalf of them I am sorry.

   Grindr had a worldwide outage this weekend, is it too late to stock up on apocalypse survival supplies?

   Sorry you're an athiest and have no one to thank it's Friday.

   SILF - Sorry Liver Its Friday

   At the movies now... Frankenweenie, Fun Size, and Here Comes the Boom. Sounds like a typical weekend in college.