friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Happy Friday!! And to all my Atheist and Agnostic friends out there... T_IF!!

   "6 packs of smokes. A case of beer. 2 box's of condoms. A lotto ticket & $2.00 gas on pump 8" ... Now thats a friday night thats ready for a good time but aint going far!!

   decided to burn some calories this weekend so I set a fat kid on fire.

   There is a quadriplegic convention downtown this weekend. That place is going to be crawling with people!

   It's FRIDAY!!! CARPE SCROTUM . . . seize the day by the balls!!!

   You know that movie where the guy needs to keep his adrenaline level up or he dies? My weekend was just like that, except the opposite.

   3 Pints of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, a wrench, and handcuffs made out of Twizzlers. I'm ready for bootycall Friday night to begin!

   I once gave up fishing. It was the most terrifying weekend of my life.

   it's friday the 13th and storming. Not gonna lie, I'm half expecting Jason to come knocking on my door...

   I tripped over the "Hump" in Hump Day and landed face first into Thirsty Thursday. Time to pick myself and my drink up so I can fall into Friday.

   Will somebody let me borrow their Delorean to travel to friday already!

   I met a woman on a date last night , and I don't think it'll work out , she said she's a weekend heroin user. If she can't commit to Heroin, what kind of wife material is she really ?

   [coworker interrupting my story about how my weekend was] first of all McDonald’s doesn’t even have soup

   Instead of a tweet up, I think all the twitter crushes should get together for a weekend in the mountains You know... A Couples Retweet

   I see Black Friday is coming up and wondering who profits the most on that day? The people who are smart enough to stay home feeling thankful for everything they have the day after Thanksgiving?

   I'm thankful I won't have to go push and shove people on Black Friday the day after telling everyone on Facebook how thankful I was for everything I have.

   This is the first time in my life that am seeing a month without a weekend, everyday is everyday

   Getting hyped for the weekend is soooo mainstream.

   Brace yourselves it's Harley Quinn weekend!

   The Mrs is visiting her mother this weekend, so the dog and I are smoking cigars and playing poker. In our underware!!!!!