nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   not saying that "The Who" are old, but half of the people watching the superbowl last night were wondering "Who are those guys playing the CSI theme song?"

   thinks that marriage should be like football; you must show up fully committed and prepared and score every opportunity you get!

   Reasons Why Guys Stop Texting Girls: 1) He's Busy. 2) You didn't send nudes. 3) He has beer and football. 4) It's only been a day, calm down psycho.

   watching football the same way Colin Kaepernick does... sitting on my couch

   I live by my father's motto: "Life is a football game. Try to fall asleep in the first quarter and complain if anyone shuts off the TV."

   Drank like 3 Four Lokos and some hand sanitizer last night, blacked out and apparently officiated a Monday Night Football game.

   Glad it's college football season again, now we have an excuse to drink at 10:00 AM on a Saturday.

   I just got a call from the NFL office...they must have gotten wind of that 1 flag football game I ref'd in 2002

   I think a man with a helmet defending his country should make more money than a man with a helmet defending a football.

   My friends and I played fantasy football in high-school. No league, we just constantly thought about the cheerleaders.

   I just learned that to burn off the calories from 1 M&M you have to walk the length of a football field. BRB I have to run to China.

   Why do men like football? Because the biggest priorities in football are also the biggest priorities in every man's life.... Scoring and Ball Security.

   my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts

   My favorite thing about Basketball is when it's Football.

   Just got back from my high school Football coach's funeral. I leaned over the casket and whispered "YOU walk it off".

   ..... Personally, I think a man with a helmet defending his country should make a lot more money than a man with a helmet defending a football.

   I hope your favorite football team wins so that it changes your life in no way whatsoever.

   When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.

   Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.

   Out on the highway, getting passed by a Prius is the football equivalent of getting tackled by the kicker.