friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   I signed into Facebook so I could find out where all my friends will be this weekend. I now have a list of places to avoid. Strategery, folks.

   Bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn't been used at the liquor store since Friday.

   Black Friday? That's ones of those Ice Cube movies right?

   Dear Radio Stations, please do not play Katy Perry's "Friday Night" Monday morning at 8 AM during my drive to work.

   You know your mind is already on the weekend when someone at work tells you they're giving away shots, and you assume alcohol before flu.

   The week seems to go by at the speed of a snail. Unless it's the weekend. Then the snail is driving a Ferrari.

   I feel like it is going to be a great weekend to get some work done around the house, so I plan on getting up early, turning on SportsCenter and hope this feeling passes.

   The movie "The Social Network" about facebook earned 9 million dollars in sales Friday night to top all movies. Imagine what they could have done if those veiwers had dates!

   Possible "Breaking Amish" sequels:.. #1:Friday Night Without Lights... #2:That 1870's Show... #3:The Big Barn Theory...#4:Not-Modern Family

   Most immigrants still have a lot to learn about America. Like, if you're going to take a day off, take Friday, not Thursday...

   now taking reservations for midnight kisses on Friday night. Sign up below.

   I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.

   Remember as we are planing for our tomorrows, our brave soilders are giving theirs today.. Have a safe an wonderful Memorial weekend everyone!!

   loves the smell of Friday in the morning, it smells like... WEEKEND.

   I'm setting my alarm for 3am Friday, so I can wake up, remember I don't give a shit about the royal wedding and go back to sleep

   3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday... 2. Tomorrow is not Friday... 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday...

   My boss told me that if I can't show up sober then don't bother coming to work tomorrow. Three day weekend!

   Anyone going early Black Friday shopping after the elections?

   Going to spend the weekend cleaning in case Publisher's Clearinghouse shows up at my door with TV cameras and a check.

   The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.