life Funny Status Messages

   “Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..

   "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." - Steve Jobs

   had many people walk into her life and made it great. She has had many people walk out of her life and made it f*cking fantastic!!!

   you know, i've only ever been wrong once in my life, and that's when I thought I was wrong but was actually right.

   Give a woman a compliment, she'll smile for a day.. Teach a woman to fish for compliments & she'll be annoying for the rest of her life.

   A guy came up to me at the gym and asked me what event I was training so hard for. Life, motherf*cker.

   They say that every person who enters your life makes a difference in it, my question for you is are you gonna be a scar or a beauty mark?

   If fanny packs were actually awesome, do you realize how easier life would be?

   Watching CNN coverage of Irene, reporter is standing holding on for dear life... ready to fall over from the wind... 75lb. girl walks by with her ipod on walking her dog and not even off balance. AMERCIA at its best!

   Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.

   People treat New Year’s like some sort of life changing event. If your life sucks today, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow

   In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and a unforgettable love.

   life isn't a garden, stop being a hoe.

   Shower = 27 min. 2min. = Wash and rinse body. 25 min. = Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe.

   If you think my status upd@tes are ridiculous, you should see my life choices.

   The only thing I want negative in my life is pregnancy tests.

   The first 10 years of a girl's life are spent playing with Barbies. The next 10 years are spent trying to look like one.

   Trying to find your phone when its on silent is one of life`s hardest tasks.

   I'm always extra nice to the weird kid, so one day he'll spare my life when he finally snaps.

   It's amazing how many beautiful women walk into your life the week before you get married.