love Funny Status Messages

   Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn't given freely by another person, it isn't worth having

   Live without pretending, Love without depending, Listen without defending, Speak without offending.

   Pro tip:When women want to be held, hold em When they're sad, love em When they're drunk, try for butthole. It's easier when they're drunk

   Love is not about how much you say "I love you", but how much you can prove that it's true.

   "Thor" is the #1 movie -- proving there's nothing Americans love watching more than an immigrant who's good with a hammer.

   I love how fresh & clean my bathroom smells after I've killed a spider with a full bottle of windex

   How did flying babies in diapers wielding Bow & Arrows ever become a symbol of love?!!!

   The worst feeling in the world is being in love with somebody that knows how to untie rope and run away while you're napping.

   I'm too tired. Go love someone else.

   If Facebook has proved ANYTHING, it's that the love of your life is someone you've never actually met.

   Sometimes I step outside to look up at the stars and think to myself....damn I love peeing outside!!!

   I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn't actually catch the murder on video?lol

   My wife woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on her face ..... I love Sharpie markers.

   I'd love to watch Samuel L Jackson and Morgan Freeman get into a heated argument while James Earl Jones tries to stop them.

   Sometimes I spice up my love life by getting my girlfriend to wear a long black nightgown with buttons on it. Makes her look just like a remote control.

   Watch your wedding video backwards, you will love the bit where you take off the ring get out of the Church and f*** off with friends

   Love: Nature's way of tricking people into reproducing

   I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I'm roofing.

   so youre looking for a good guy who will love and respect you, but yet you post half naked pics on your fb? why thats. .thats brilliant!

   If a girl is stupid enough to love you after you broke her heart, I guarantee you, she is the one.