santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   I'm too tired to stay awake and watch... It feels like this U.S. Election night is Christmas Eve, and America's worried Santa might leave coal and sticks instead of presents in the morning.

   I'm not saying Happy Holiday's to anyone this year, instead I'm saying Merry Christmas

   This Christmas, let's put misteltoe in our back pockets so all the people who hate us can kiss our ass!

   Seen a baby wearing a shirt saying; "Santa doesn't exist, but that's okay, because I can't read."

   A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy's laptop.

   It kind of sucks living in Detroit this Christmas. The economy has hit us so hard, I heard Haiti was organizing a fund raiser for us

   Hey Everyone just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.. If you can't be good....... be carefull.. Have a safe and fun holiday...

   Am I the only person who feels like Christmas didn't even happen?

   if you have been naughty this Christmas be happy if you get coal...there are blind snowmen out there that would kill for it!

   will not be making any Christmas related status updates until December

   It's perfectly OK to pretend that you're Irish on St. Patrick's Day. You pretend you're good on Christmas, don't you?

   It would be really convenient if Christmas decorations grew on trees.

   jaegermeister: its like running down the stairs on Xmas morning and then realizing your Jewish.

   Digging through a box in the closet and I found a picture of me sitting on Santa's lap. Hard to believe that was almost 2 years ago.

   plans on dressing up as Kanye West for Halloween and just before the kids yell "Trick or Treat", jump out of the bushes and yell "Christmas is better".

   Well the Christmas tree is out of the house, and back on the rear view mirror.

   Birthdays back then: Wow! Look at all these presents!. Birthdays now : Wow damn look at all these notifications!.

   I hope you were all good little boys and girls and Betsy Ross brought you all presents. Happy Flag Day to us all.

   Lisa in Accounts suggested we play Xmas music in the office. Long story short, she left early due to food poisoning.

   just opened an envelope with one of those 'glittery' Christmas cards inside, it looks like a unicorn just jizzed in my lap