life Funny Status Messages

   the life of the party, even if I dont attend

   To all my barbies out there who date Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, you'll be better off in life. Get that money!

   IM SO BAD. I BROKE 3 LAWS LESS THAN 35 SECONDS. I RAN A RED LIGHT, I WAS GOING 60 IN A 45, AND I SAID THE F WORD. #THUG LIFE

   thinks it's ironic that the man that brought the Segway to life was brought to death by his invention.

   In the cookies of life FRIENDS are the chocolate chips

   I just said to myself how life would be simpler without technology and my iPhone said "Ya right" and we laughed and laughed and wrote this status.

   Leon: Mathilda, nothing's the same after you've killed someone. Your life is changed forever. You have to sleep with one eye open for the rest of your life..

   If you are a dog catcher and don't have a "pug life" tattoo you are doing the whole life thing wrong.

   When life gets too stressful, sometimes you need professional help. Hire a prostitute, they're highly-trained at stress release.

   Life's cruel when you think it is, life's happy when you feel it is, and life's best when you enjoy it as it is.

   Life is weird. First you wanna grow up, then you wanna be a kid again.

   gonna update this status, but I got high. I was gonna let you in on my life, but I got high. Now I'm behind the times, and I know why... hey eh, cuz I got high, cuz I got high, cuz I got high!

   I hope to get to the point in my life where I’m not excited about finding change on the ground.

   I have never in my life seen a Tattoo and said "wow, that looks classy" All a tattoo is, is a "LOOK AT ME" statement

   I think I'll open a lemonade stand, you know.. for those lemons that I collected through life. . .

   You say its none of your business how someone chose to live their life hey? So its cool with you if I just decide to walk around without pants in public?

   I will no longer need your services REAL LIFE...I Now have MineCraft!

   The Secret life of the American teenager is less realistic than star wars. No father and daughter talk about sex that casually. "Hey amy, are you going to have sex with Ricky tonight?" "Well we're both emotionally & physically ready, so yeah." "okay, cool

   Ï believe that upon death,at heavens gate,there are 2 books in which your name need be,the book of life,&the avengers attendance sheet

   "the Doctor of Death, and I have come to cure you of your life."