life Funny Status Messages
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If there's one thing I've learnt in life it's to stay clothed during sensitive conversations. 
My goal in life isn't to become famous or powerful like Donald Trump, my goal in life is to make enough money to eat whatever I want....
Wow!!! Madonna exposes 17-year old's breat during concert, teen calls it the best moment in her life. Hmmmm....I thought all of Madonna's fans were all adults in their 40's and 50's.
My dream in life is to be a guest on the Maury show.
Sometimes I look at what someone is wearing and I can't help but think, "Damn GIRL, did you give up on life?"
OK if you really want me to watch soccer so be it. but for the life of me I don't understand why the counter counts up????
If you ever see me in person, don't poke me. In real life I loathe when folks do that. Unless you give me the numbers and expiration date first on your card and you show me 2 ID's.
The best way to ruin my day is by asking me, "How's life treating you?" or "What's new?".
Cant Help Eavesdropping to a Group of Senior Citizens as they Reminisce their College Life... Funny and Disgusting at the same time..
My life has been brought to you by.............. "It seemed like a REALLY good idea at the time (Insert: "Officer", "Your Honor", or "Doc" here)."
How many times in your life have you said HE or SHE is the one only to find out that you were mistaken?
The best things in life make no sense.
Walking calmly and nonchalantly to the bathroom and then fighting to get my britches down in record time so's I don't poop down a pant leg seems to be among my most recent list of super powers today. Life is good ツ
Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one.
Nothing's driving me insane. Insane is in the passenger seat screaming for it's dear life.
went to a carnival trying to win an X-box Kinect and the next thing he knew , he'd lost his entire life savings and all he had to show for it was a giant banana with dreadlocks.
was wondering if anybody wants to come over and practice the lift from Dirty Dancing because my cat is soooooo not having it right now. Needless to say she did not "have the time of her life" and she owes it all to me.
I went to confession. Things in my life have gotten way out of hand and I mean WAY out. For penance, the priest gave me 10 Hail Marys, 10 Act of Contritions, 10 Our Fathers and a Do It Yourself Crucifixion kit from IKEA.
LIFE is a game a REAL game
It seems like Mark Zuckerberg is playing real life Monopoly. He owns FB, Instagram now WhatsApp...what's next, Twitter? [Search Results] [View All Messages]
