life Funny Status Messages

   The life was much easier when Blackberry and Apple were just fruits..

   Love seeing life through the eyes of a child. So I made the nephew a helmet-cam and let him take a spin in the dryer.

   Well another day has passed, and I haven’t used algebra once. Oh and a great big thanks must go to Facebook for greeting me this evening! Yay! My life is complete!

   My Friends Told Me To Get A Life,Instead I Got A Wife And Now I Miss My Life.........

   Life is what you make it! I made it into a bottle of booze and chugged the whole bottle in one sitting and then threw the bottle at a tree.

   Worst possible life moment.... Driving down the interstate, a few miles past the "next exit 80 miles" sign, and you realize you have a sudden onset of diahrrea

   DINGLE BERRY: A small piece of poo clinging for dear life on the ass hair like it's the gym rope.

   I am having the best day of my life and I owe it all to not going to church!!!

   I have lived through death of Michael Jackson, first black president, Royal Wedding and Osama's death. My life's a fuc?ing history book.

   is out making some changes in her life...leave a message and I'll get back yo you. if I don't return your message your one of the changes!

   Kinda pissed that OJ is living a better life than me right now.

   Had to take a drug test on my lunch break for my life insurance policy, the lady told me that I passed and asked me why I look so angry, I told her that my dealer has some explaining to do now....

   Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for life. Give an octopus nunchuks, no one's eating fish ever again

   planning his life #1 get married #2 get a house #3 have a baby #4 Sell baby for dream car #5 have another baby

   After mating, the female praying mantis kills and eats the male. I guess she figured it's easier to get life insurance instead of fighting for child support from him later.

   Jesus says to John come forth I'll give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

   The hottest love has the coldest end !!!, Boyfriends come and go, but friends r forever.. enjoy ur SINGLE life

   I got a funny cigarette and a $2 bottle of wine and a beautiful blonde with me tonight!! Life can't get no sweeter!!

   Life is too short to dance with fat girls

   When something big comes out from your life, smaller ones enter.