life Funny Status Messages

   The only thing I can truly count on in life is a calculator.

   Life is to short to bicker and cry before we die.....

   life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning how to dance in the rain!

   The trick is not how much pain you feel - but how much joy you feel... Any idiot can feel pain... Life is full of excuses to feel pain, excuses not to live, excuses, excuses, excuses...

   Enjoy life and don't think about it. There's nothing we can do but have fun with what time we have.

   I'm not the kind of guy who will be an a**hole for no apparent reason. But if you cross me and give me enough reason, I'll make your life a living hell.

   RT @latinjns Jeremiah 28:11 He has a plan for your life, trust him to lead and guide you.....//Yes Lord!

   Life is not measured by the breaths you take...its measured by the moments that take your breath away.

   When life knocks you down to your knees, remember that it's the perfect position to pray.

   Ugly old married women who fight over their male colleagues with all other young women! well done! Your life sucks!

   I propose that Jesus must have been a Zombie. Lets look at the facts: He came back from the dead, He wants you drink his blood and also eat his flesh so that you have ever lasting life. Or maybe... a vampire-zombie? Hmm... futher study is needed.

   Dear Men, Life without Women, would literally be a pain in the as*.

   So I thought about asking the love of my life to marry me. Chicken Parmesan. . .

   Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy and enjoy life!!

   So...you've been eating hot dogs, chicken nuggets and other processed meats all your life, but you won't get the shot because you don't know what's in it????

   If god is a dj, life is a dancefloor, love is a rhythm, you are the music, you get what you are given it's all how you use it and god wants you to shake your ass!

   Life Aint Always What It Seems To Be .. you Have Ur Ups N Downs Either Happily Or Sad But At The End Of The Day you Gotta Jus Forget Bout All That N Hope you Wake Up To Live The Next Day

   The point of YOLO isn't to party and do a bunch of crazy sh*t cause you only live once. The points to go out of your way to do nice things, live life to the fullest.

   Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.

   My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support