snow OR flurries OR winter Funny Status Messages

   Winter is supposed to leave tomorrow, so he showed up early this morning, threw sh*t around, made me feel cold and desolate, and left his money shot all over my car. He must be related to my ex.

   i rather watch grass grow in winter then watch farewell. Bye obama

   Terrance & Phillip should've really done the "lighting of the torch" during the Winter Olympics back then.....too late now.

   Dear snow, I think you're lost. Alaska is a different way.

   UGGS, The winter equivalent of Crocks. You approach me with Uggs, I'll assume you're a mental patient.

   I gained so much Winter weight, I had to go buy a pregnancy test just to be sure

   I worry about ridiculous things. You know, how does a guy who drives a snow plough get to work in the morning? That can keep me awake for days.

   Cryogenics is nothing new. My landlord has been freezing our bodies every winter for years.

   snow in Egypt in the dessert, Egyptian police report camel's slipping and sliding, Egyptian Utilities report all 25 customer's without power.

   Ok mother nature we beat the snow record now there's no need to run the score up!

   "Haha Good one snow.... Good one" *pulls snow aside and whispers* "Seriously dude, knock it off, you're ruining my life"

   For Free, 5 foot of snow....you pick up and haul (from my drive) First 10 people get a free glass of ice water with it.....limited supply so hurry fast.

   According to Nostradamus Prophecies, Politicians can resist a Nuclear Winter, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, a direct Meteor Impact, the Jehovah's Witnesses & Mormons. But not a Sequester!

   Alright Winter, we get your point. You're a force of nature okay? I'll quit mocking you when I'm talking to the other seasons

   Maybe snow kills COVID. You don’t know!

   Don't worry Texans, the snow will disappear like magic in April.

   If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren't there hot chocolate trucks in the winter?

   Winter seems more like a booty call than a three-month relationship.

   am I watching The Weather Channel or Game of Thrones? it looks like winter is coming

   Driving a gray car in the winter is putting a lot of faith in your fellow drivers on the road.