love Funny Status Messages

   Your heart will always try to trick you into believing you can love only one. The truth is you can love many. Because love is everywhere.

   I like you. But I don't "let you out of my basement" like you. Hah because I love you.

   i have no friends because everyone is in love with me!

   I just Love the gym this time of year. The new members make me look like an endurance freak

   Ladies. Does listening to Taylor Swift songs actually help you deal with your tragic love lives?

   Her: I love the picture of you in your bedroom. Me: It's IKEA. Her: You did a great job picking it all out! Me: No, I took that picture in IKEA.

   I love a good meal at the deli. Where else can I go to get an overabundance of nitrites, nitrates, saturated fats, cholesterol and sodium all served up on weird bread that contains seeds?

   I'm going to my girlfriend's house to make mad, passionate love to her. Then have her fix us something to eat. That's what's meant by bed and breakfast, right?

   Heavy D: Now that we found love, what are we gonna do with it? Scientist: Containment protocol, we can't have everybody catching feelings.

   If you can't handle me on Facebook then you definitely don't deserve me at my best! Wait...this is my best!!! Guys, please love me.

   Late night 20 minute conversations with the McDonalds Drive thru guy about those who we aspire to love, the desolate restitution of our youth, and McNuggets. Because adulthood.

   I love how coffee fixes everything. Tired? Drink some coffee. Headache? Drink coffee. Cold? Drink coffee. Someone makes your angry? Bust them in the head with a hot cup of coffee!

   remember guys...try to keep her as a love bird...dont do anything to make her an angry bird

   I love deer season, Especially when I am driving alone in my Blazer , it's amazing how fast I purposely turn into a Comacazi pilot when I see a deer in the middle of the road-

   Quotations i got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes, hate in my heart, love in my mind

   Awww! Isn't that sweet. Everyone's so in love from Facebook how long thats going to last.. like in relationship but its complicated WTF

   My Mom texted me, "What does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?" I answered, "I don't know, love you, and talk to you later." She said, "Ok I'll ask your sisters."

   I love Trump so much, I'm willing to make up anything in order to make Joe Biden look bad. Come back Trump, I can't live without you!!!

   I love watching all the fish in my tank suck in the same piece of fish shi t and then spitting it out, thinking it was food.

   I’d love to have a s*x change. Preferably from none to absolutely sh*tloads