life Funny Status Messages

   Despite a great life, I feel all empty inside, Must be time for lunch.

   I was on the phone earlier with a friend in upstate New York. We touched on the weather. She said, "It's wet, gloomy and mostly in the 40's. I said that sounds like my sƐx life.

   My friend Dave is serving a life sentence for something he didn't do. He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the knife.

   I'm just here because real life won't have me.

   Science shows having pets adds 5 years to your life. Have thousands of pets, never stop owning pets. Become immortal. Laugh as your foes grow old and die

   Everything happens for a reason, and that reason is that life is totally random.

   Lost my Droid for an hour. The day I lost my daughter at the zoo is now the second most terrifying experience of my life

   To some people iPhones are like a religion. They don't know how it works, but it gives them something to cling to, so their life has meaning.

   The key to a happy life is to turn as much alcohol into urine as you can

   that's pathetic: that the iphone 13 is identical to it's previous models but only give us a better battery life. Sad part is people fall for apple laziness

   Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know when you'll find a nut.

   not easily offended and easily offends. Life is so unfair...

   In the biggest Wal-Mart of my life. There's *weather* in here.

   Best friends in life are those who stand behind you during bad times… To know who our best friends are, just look at your marriage photo album…

   "Ugh.... life is rough" ... I type on my $600 phone that was made by an 8 year old in a sweat shop.

   I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life.

   Oh life I love you, specially your things I mean living things, some of them are severely cool

   People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

   Life is a race...too bad I'm fat.

   If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from being a douchebag.