love Funny Status Messages

   The Gym was so crowded today I had to skip my workout. Fortunately, the line at KFC was shorter than usual. Already in Love with New Year's resolution

   I'm going to invent the Facebook Status Flipbook. An animated screen capture collection. Met a new guy (flip), it's only been a week but I Love him (flip), week 2 and I hate him (flip), deleting Facebook (flip), I Love him again.

   I Love You like HELL!!! Its just that I don't want to DIE ;)

   Neighbor - n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

   Does God love poor people more than rich people? to put it differently, Does God love lazy ass bums more than hardworking folks?

   Contrary to popular belief, cats actually love water. You just have to set them on fire first.

   ALL UR LIES you SAID, ' I love U' WAS MY FAVOURITE

   My girlfriend loves it when I talk dirty to her during sex. I'm pissed off at her though, so tonight when we make love I'm going to tell her how beautiful she is.

   Some of you are funny,some poetic,some angry,some horny,some drunk,some in love,some lonely,some crazy,some too-good-to-be-true. I <3 you all.

   X says Falling in love is like jumping off a very tall building. Your brain tells you - it's not damn a good idea, while your heart tells you - you can fly.

   We've got to give a little love, have a little hope, make this world a little better.!

   I can't wait for tomorrow when Trump will officially be president again. Love to see those libs cry.

   My mom thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" and texted me "Your Grandma just died. LOL."

   Don't just love me, be in love with me & show me true happiness; after all, we've got to make it worth the forthcoming heartbreak.

   Sometimes the best people to spill your heart to are total strangers. I love you guys.

   "You love to laugh?? Wow, how unique!" said no one, ever...

   Husband during anniversary dinner, "I love you so much, let's go do it in the alley. I'll give you $30."

   I have had enough, I am not here for your pleasure any longer, you encourage me to turn you on, just so you can heat me up for a few minutes. So it is over..you are being shut down,,unplugged, concider your fuse blown... God I love turning off the furnace

   Consultants know 243 ways to make love and know no member of the opposite sex

   Went from fallin' in love to drunk and fallin' apart