life Funny Status Messages

   Worst FB moment in your life... Friend request from your mom.

   Life is great... I don't have kids, aids or ebola.

   Life is sexually transmitted.

   had a dream I was stranded on a deserted island with Dracula and Nancy Pelosi. Pretty spooky! One is a evil being that is pale and will drain the life out of you.....And the other one's a vampire

   I've had an awesome life and I still haven't needed to use algebra. Who was the a-hole who made up a useless subject like this to be tested in on is school, did I mention they were an a-hole. . .

   Life and Wife are two similar words ..... but if you have one, you can't have the other!!!

   Wish life could be simple like the good ol' days. Like page 756!

   Life will always be like a roller coaster ride! Make sure your seatbelt is fastened and hold on tight because its full of thrills, screams, chills, fear, excitement, tears, laughter, joy, anxiety, and the will to do it all over again! "Life I tell ya!"

   wants to be one of those people who, when he reaches the end of his life, gets their head cryogenically frozen, wakes up in a new, strong, young body 10,000 years in the future and proceeds to lead the human race to victory over the alien insect overlords

   I feel like everything in my life has led me to you. My choices, my heartbreaks, my regrets. Everything. And when we’re together, my past seems worth it. Because if I had done one thing differently, I might have never met you.

   Life is like a kernel of corn. You'll go through some $hit, only to come out clean in the end.

   Do your best to limit the number of boundaries you set in life. Not everything you're looking for lies within that yellow tape.

   Hey negative people; The only thing I want negative in my life are pregnancy tests.

   "Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening."

   I'd like to thank my digestive system for getting rid of all the sh!t in my life, without you I'd be full of it!

   I will not chase you after anyone anymore!.......If you walk out of my life, I'll hold the F-N door open for you!!!

   So you discovered your best angle when you take pictures... You lil model you, hardly recognized you! In real life!

   what you're awesome at black ops? wow, dedication and no life right there

   i think the guy standing next to me has given up on life, I can tell because he is barefoot at a Wal-Mart urinal..

   Should men care about women's rights? Before you answer, remember four important women in your life. Sister...Wife...Daughter...Mother...