santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.

   I think I overdosed on my family.....Santa has the right idea....only visit some ppl once a year.....

   Anyone caught singing Christmas carols between now and Thanksgiving will be slapped.

   Just got a peek at Santa's naughty list! Amazingly, it's almost identical to my friends list. Can't believe some of the things you people have done!

   Just wanted to wish happy holidays to engineers of the electricals. Your postt manage to survive!

   the difference in Tiger Woods and Santa is Santa stops at 3 hos.

   What's a good Christmas gift for the woman who already has everything except morals?

   First you have to tell 'em Santa's not real. Then you have to tell 'em Nicki Minaj is real.. ..no wonder the kids are confused.

   I'll be spending most of today putting Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.

   This Wiki Leaks is getting out of control -- They just leaked Santa's christmas list.

   would like to see a more man-friendly mall for next Christmas. It needs to have a Home Depot, AutoZone, Bass Pro Shop, Lowe's, Sears, Gander Mtn, Pep Boys, a Longhorn Steakhouse and ESPN radio playing over the christmas tunes.

   In further keeping with the new American tradition of ruining holidays by starting them early and hurrying them along...I put up all my Christmas decorations yesterday, and took them back down this morning.

   I may be on Santa's naughty list but at least I had fun getting there.

   "You see your family whole year, holidays are for your bartender !!" - Moe Syzlak

   Turns out Santa is the ultimate Millennial Hipster ..... He works one day a year .... and spends the rest of the year judging you.

   The radio shouldve started playing thanksgiving music instead of christmas music but the only song I can think of is Adam Sandlers Thanksgiving Song.

   Just to remind you: about 152 Days left to Christmas and 148 until the end of world happens again! Enjoy it!

   The first rule of Christmas Fight Club is don't buy her anything half a size bigger than she is because clearly you're implying something..

   I wasn't allowed to watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas" as a kid because of my Peanut allergy.

   All of these special little "holidays..." I heard they were gonna have a national "I Don't Give A Sh*t" day... But no one gave a sh*t so it never happened.