love Funny Status Messages

   First rule of the women's club: listen to us. No no, respect us. Wait no, love us for our mind. Hmm no...I CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND.

   Just dropped a cigarette between my car seat & the console & now I know what Courtney Love feels like when she's trying to find a good vein.

   I love science too. But not enough to warrant profanity.

   My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me.

   There are only two types of women in this world: 1) Those who love sex just as much as men do. 2) Liars.

   Yes, tell me about the time you were cool. I love fiction.

   I love your warm body. I love the way you smell, taste. The way you wake me up inside. Coffee

   Somtimes I get the feeling that maybe the love of my life got stuck up in a Condom

   I wanted to touch you, taste your sweetness with soft aromas beckoning me - it was just the beginning of our tragic love story. *pastries

   Everyone knows it's "Private eyes", single clap, "They're watching you", double clap. Now,church choir, for the love of God, get your crap together.

   Buy her a time machine, because women love bringing up the past.

   It pays to network: today, take time to call up every one of your business associates and just tell them that you love them.

   I love when people make a photo of their kid as their Facebook profile pic so it's like a baby is screaming about gun rights.

   Your "I Love My Wife" bumper sticker simply means you'd lose a fistfight against a loaf of bread.

   Why drown in love, when you can swim in lust ?

   So when love comes knocking at your door answer it stark naked

   I'm asian but not "love you long time" asian. More like "love you for 10 min, roll over, and go to bed" asian.

   If you love someone, keep drinking

   Want to know the best way to make friends? Tell a woman you love her and she will say "I think we're just friends"

   My G.F. has a pair of 'meatloaf' panties. On the front, it says 'I would do anything for love' On the back it says 'but I wont do that.'