life Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A Life ?! Where can I download one of those?
←Rate | 06-26-2012 22:59 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I replied "maybe" to your facebook event out of respect for the inherent uncertainty of life's journey.
←Rate | 06-26-2012 17:37 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon i buy my own f*cking lemons because you know what? life doesn't hand anyone anything for free.
←Rate | 06-26-2012 07:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will not chase you after anyone anymore!.......If you walk out of my life, I'll hold the F-N door open for you!!!
←Rate | 06-25-2012 20:16 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon glad Alex Trebek's life isn't in *puts sunglasses on* jeopardy.. actually I really don't care.
←Rate | 06-25-2012 18:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon U.S. television game show host Alex Trebek is recovering from a mild heart attack he suffered on Saturday, but not worry his life is not in Jeopardy.
←Rate | 06-25-2012 16:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Porn has ruined my life. My toilet is blocked and I'm too scared to call the plumber :(
←Rate | 06-25-2012 15:12 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life sucks when a girlfriend doesn't
←Rate | 06-25-2012 14:13 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every mile you jog adds 1 minute to your life, so when you're 85 you can spend an extra 5 months in a nursing home at $8,000 per month.
←Rate | 06-25-2012 12:46 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saying that an iPhone is the best phone because of the battery life is like saying my bicycle is the best car when it comes to fuel economy.
←Rate | 06-24-2012 15:17 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't take life too seriously. Sometimes you have to learn to laugh at yourself. If not call me, I'll be glad to laugh at you :D
←Rate | 06-23-2012 01:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My entire life is a “you had to be there” moment.
←Rate | 06-22-2012 22:46 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy and enjoy life!!
←Rate | 06-22-2012 11:08 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will never let my life be defined by my reactions to what other people think, say or do. Greatness lies just past pettiness.
←Rate | 06-22-2012 10:13 by SmokeDog Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of life's best lessons are learned while watching your drunk friends.
←Rate | 06-21-2012 21:59 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting really into filling life's emptiness with carbs.
←Rate | 06-21-2012 08:44 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to take a day off every now and then to create the illusion of a real life.
←Rate | 06-21-2012 08:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when I play a game on my computer ,the screen goes dark . and I see my own reflection in the screen and wonder what I am doin with my life ..then the next level starts.
←Rate | 06-21-2012 00:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any good lawyers out there? I just found out that some broad named E.L. James is using me and my life as the inspiration for the main male character in some book she has out, without asking me for permission or giving me any of the proceeds. I'm outraged
←Rate | 06-20-2012 09:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You just don't just come into someones life, make them care and then just leave.
←Rate | 06-19-2012 23:41 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  




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