Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 95 of 6382
I told my wife she has to embrace her mistakes. So she hugged me.
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08-27-2022 15:35 by Otis
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Soft tacos are just tiny burritos with a sun roof.
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08-25-2022 07:56 by Mickey
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Why’d they call it “The Empire Strikes Back” and not “Cool Hand, Luke”?
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08-24-2022 10:48
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My girl said someone is trying to get into the house, should I call 911 ?
I said no call 811.
Why?
Cause you always call miss Dig before digging a hole!
If the employee parking lot is full, you should get to go back home.
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08-23-2022 12:19
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If you think you're having a bad day, just remember, someone is gonna have Snooki as their mom.
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08-23-2022 10:00
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Back before Walmart, you used to have to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded woman.
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08-23-2022 09:59
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Have you seen my thumb ring?" ~ my proctologist
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08-23-2022 09:58
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How many coworkers have to ask you "what's that pee smell" before you have to admit you're wearing a new cologne?
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08-23-2022 09:58
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge says, "First offender?" She says, No, first a Gibson, then a Fender
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08-23-2022 09:57
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I wasn’t dropped as a baby, but I’ve been making up for it ever since.
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08-23-2022 09:55
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It's taken 66 years for me to realize two things: Pizza and steak are overrated.
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08-23-2022 09:51
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Summer is not officially over, so settle down you pumpkin spice perverts!
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08-23-2022 09:36
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Do actual ladies exist anymore, or is it all just washed up man Ioathing bar sIut bimbos flipping the bird in their profile pics?
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08-23-2022 09:18
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Facebook reels are mostly chunky broads stuffed into clothes like a sausage.
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08-23-2022 08:20
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For some reason, the press seems more concerned with "BIack Man Killed By Police", than "Police KiIIed By BIack Man."
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08-22-2022 18:31
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Why do they make it so hard to dig the candy out of trail mix?
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08-22-2022 15:01
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I like the new game of thrones show but I don’t think the laugh track is necessary
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08-22-2022 14:59
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My doctor says I only have one diabete.
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08-22-2022 14:59
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My neightbor accross the hall fed his pet snake a viagra now it's a walkin stick
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08-22-2022 14:58
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