love Funny Status Messages

   I asked my Heart why can't I sleep at night? IT replied: Cos you already slept your arse off at work. . Don't act like you're in Love jackasss. . :|

   What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spit, swallow, and gargle.

   I Like my Job on my day's off, I LOVE my job on paydays!

   Love is never having to say you're sorry. Marriage is saying sorry especially when you're not.

   Life is short, we only get to live it once, so live and love and give it all you got!!

   One of the best feelings in the world is when you hug someone you love and they pepper spray you.

   I love when my friends tell me they have 3 or 4 days off from work. Then want to make plans to go out and expect me to pay the bill because their check sucked. Well maybe your a$$ should of went to work instead of bragging about being off.

   I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone

   The only b word you should call a woman is beautiful. B!tches love to be called beautiful.

   to love or not to love....theres no question :-)

   I love tattoos- every year on my birthday I get a small dash on my inner thigh were my balls currently hang. You can't tell me that's not going to be a beautiful work of art when it's finished.

   I love when my friends lock their keys in their car... And then call me like I can do something about it.. Just because I'm black doenst mean I know how to break into cars!

   My girlfriend wants something with lots of diamonds for Valentine's Day. She is going to love this deck of cards!

   Wishes my lovehandles would love somebody else!

   Its amazing how many bad decisions can be justified or explained away by just saying, "I was drunk" or "I was in love"

   I love making people laugh. I just hate it when it happens when I get out of the shower and It's my wife. LOL!

   I love how people always say they hate drama, yet they're constantly posting their drama on Facebook!

   I love when people hurt your feelings on purpose.. Then yell j/k as they walk away...

   Women's Ass Sie Study..30% of women think their ass is too fat..10% of women think their ass is too skinny..The reminaing 60% say they dont care,they love him,he's a good man & they wouldn"t trade him for the world!

   just made love to Luisa Gronqvist in the middle of the street.