life Funny Status Messages

   When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life.

   Life is like a carpet. Family and friends will always walk over you, and when you get dirty, the ones that clean you up.....are the people that truly care for you.

   Life is too valuable to hold grudges. Forgive and move on

   "He died doing what he loved, which was clinging to life and trying not to die, which he was very good at until recently."

   I love sitting with her at night, holding hands, imagining life without her.

   I just dropped my bong and it broke :, ( life is cruel!!

   I've spent approximately 2% of my life walking back to the trash can and checking the box to see how long I need to microwave my food.

   If one drop of semen contains more life than a drop of blood, why don't vampires s*ck co*k? Oh wait, Twilight.

   Life is better after having sex. Or when you know you're about to have sex. Or when you know someone is dying to have sex with you.

   How many times in your life have you said HE or SHE is the one only to find out that you were mistaken?

   I don't give advice because screwing up my own life requires my undivided attention

   Life's a garden. Bury your enemies in it.

   Adulthood is just piles of bills and trying to convince your exes how amazing you're life is.

   Adulthood is just piles of bills and trying to convince your exes how amazing you're life is

   My life has a surprising lack of dance battles.

   Quit blaming your parents for everything wrong in your life... Be grateful they saw you through your teeenage years and didn't kill you

   Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like an ongoing series of slaps in the face with a sweaty sock.

   you look like one of those people who smoke pot but still look like they're going somewhere in life. I like that.

   If you are fighting and someone yells worldstar you better fight for your life

   Cortana dies at the end of Halo 4. There, I just saved you 6 hours of your life.