santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   I was in Walmart the other day and noticed they had some Obama Christmas tree decorations for sale...I guess they figure it's okay to hang a black man from a tree now.......

   After undergoing a sex change operation, a judge in Santa Monica granted Chaz Bono's petition to be recognized legally as a man. He celebrated by leaving the toilet seat up.

   -- My girlfriend pulled up a chair earlier and said..... "We need to talk about our future."..... I said, "Yeah, it's gonna be f***ing mental - we'll have flying cars, shiny silver suits, holidays on the moon!"...Needless to say - I'm now f***ing single !

   I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, sh!t on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me B!tch." I don't own a hamster.

   once my kid learned how to read I had to explain why all his Christmas presents said 'Made in China'

   Only 259 more shopping days till Christmas

   does find it very funny that on the news they have immigrants who want to vote Tory !! just like turkeys voting for christmas ... they might aswell vote BNP !! buy hey , at least they won`t have to pay a higher tax rate !!

   Time's running out if you want a chance at a Christmas / New Year baby.. I'm free for the next couple nights..

   St. Patrick -- one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.

   I feel like the little kid before Christmas... cant wait to get up and see what St. Patty has for me under the keg !

   This "fancy" wine rack I got for Christmas is total crap. NONE of these boxes fit at all

   jaegermeister: its like running down the stairs on Xmas morning and then realizing your Jewish.

   the best times to have a breakup...christmas, valentines and her birthday

   santa just touched my no no spot. :(

   January: that special time of the year when a children's Xmas toys & his parents are BOTH broke.

   Dear Santa: I would like a bailout and a bonus. I have been really bad this year and therefore I deserve it.

   gonna laugh 2 years from now when all of those people who thought the world was gonna end on Dec. 22, 2012 realize that they are still gonna have to go out and buy Christmas presents.....

   just came back home and found Santa in his mouse trap... My cheese was all gone, but at least the milk and cookies were safe.

   blew all his christmas money on hookers and cocaine.....

   got a head start on Christmas next year, I already have my tree up!