life Funny Status Messages

   Scientific fact: Laughing for 10 minutes adds 1 day to your life. You're welcome all my future 120 yr old FB friends!!!

   Life is too shart. Stupid autocorrect ツ

   Laughing for 10 minutes adds 1 day to your life. Follow me and you'll live forever!

   Just looked up from my phone. Worst 5 seconds of my life.

   Everything in life is temporary , if things are going good , enjoy it , if things are going bad , don't worry , it won't last forever either .... !!

   Life and beer are very similar……..chill for best results.

   Find someone who will change your life, not just your damn relationship status.

   Sometimes if I trip on a crack I act like it's no biggie by breaking into a jog and don't stop until I'm in a new city with a new life.

   I've done a lot of stupid shit in my life, but at least I've never signed up at the gym in january.

   I've done a lot of stupid stuff in my life, but at least I've never signed up at the gym in January.

   My life is a constant panic attack occasionally interrupted by a nap

   People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

   I used to be Pro Life until I found out Kim Kardashian was pregnant!

   Lots of soul-searching in the pro-life community now that Kim Kardashian is pregnant with Kanye West's baby.

   Can we please go back to the main menu of life? I think I accidentally chose "Extremely Hard".

   i wish hot people stalked my life instead of losers

   If you're nice to an animal, it loves you for life. If you're nice to a woman, who the hell knows what's gonna happen.

   Relationships are kinda like hamburgers on TV. They look good, but in real life, they're not that great.

   Funny how people who keep saying "I'm always there for you" are usually the ones responsible for your miserable life.

   I live my life without regrets, except for that one time I said "I do."