love Funny Status Messages

   Oh, let's play that love game where you ignore me constantly and it kills me inside, then I start ignoring you too and it gets your attention!

   X is I'm a good boyfriend..I always talk to her, play with her, touch her buttons...I definitely turn her on... I love you Xbox.

   Unsure what love is, but my ex girlfriend thought going through my phone had something to do with it.

   Chicken pot pie.... the three things I love the most

   The sooner you admit that you love me, the sooner I will stop spray painting my name in hearts on your car & leave you alone like all men.

   Fake Love: Her: Good morning love of my life, beat of my heart. Him: God morning sunshine, reason I live. True Love: Her: coffee if you want it. Him: Ehhhh.

   We will probably never understand why girls fall madly in love with douchebags.

   Don't get me wrong, I love football just as much as the next guy but if she want's to do it during game time, football is the last thing on my mind.

   Spending quality time with the people that really matter reminds me of who I am and recharges my love, hope and drive. I'm forever grateful.

   I love looking up at a guy when I'm giving him head. Once we lock eyes, and I smile, I own your ass.

   Hold still, I'm trying to make you fall in love with me.

   I love when my boss catches me actually doing work.

   All this restraining order means is that I love you too much.

   I love cats! They taste just like chicken

   I had mice in my kitchen til I replaced mouse traps with tiny notes that said,"I'll love you forever". They left me for my neighbor.

   I love it when she's hot for me, or just hot for someone and I happen to be there.

   You can love your country without having to love your government.

   I love the stick figure family's on your car windows they let me know how many garbage bags to bring to the murder.

   I love when my husband plays terrorist, he knocks down my walls

   I love it when a girl tell me she is not a slut and then 2-hours latter I've got her feet behind her ears while screaming my name.