life Funny Status Messages

   You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...

   I wish life would use lube before it bends me over.

   It's not the followers count that matters, but a few lovely people among those who make it their life to make you felt loved.

   It seems like my life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.

   I would rather have a life full of scars than one full of fear.

   imagine how hard life would be if we weren't water proof

   may your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it on facebook

   GIRLFRIEND: “You're leaving after I gave you the best years of my life?” ME: “If those were your best, then I ain’t sticking around for your worst.”

   Churches-Some of the most beautiful ornate building that house the most ugly & bitter people that hate life & want you to hate it too

   I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

   Nothing tells your friends you've made it in life quite like owning a 4 slice toaster.

   If you're not fully satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain about it on the internet. Whatever.

   GREAT!! now everytime I see someone on tv trying to save someone elses life. all I'm gonna hear in my head is "Staying Alive"

   If anyone wonders what a difference a year can make in someone's life....allow me to explain......if someone had told me a year ago....that Lance Armstrong and I would have the same number of Tour de France wins....I would have argued with them....but now

   My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I'm Just Napping

   Jesus changed your life? My remote's broken.You think you can get him to change the channel?

   I am having so much fun and enjoying my life right now that I would be really pissed if I were to die.

   Still haven't answered my life's calling... I've always just assumed it dialed the wrong number.

   If people winked as much in real life as they do in text, this world would be a really creepy place.

   Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one.