plexking Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sorry, I'm not tall enough to ride your emotional roller coaster ...
←Rate | 03-23-2013 03:03 by plexking Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always have sex with the front door open, So I can give Jehovas something to witness.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 03:56 by plexking Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
←Rate | 03-23-2013 02:59 by plexking Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a poster that said, "Have you seen this man?" with a number to call ... So I called the number and told them, "no."
←Rate | 03-23-2013 03:01 by plexking Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've heard of women that aren't crazy ... but I've also heard of unicorns, so whatever...
←Rate | 03-23-2013 00:46 by plexking Comments (0)  


   messageicon That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there's no milk so you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
←Rate | 03-23-2013 03:13 by plexking Comments (1)  


   messageicon Sorry I got really drunk and ended up being really mouthy and offensive at your party next week.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 03:07 by plexking Comments (0)  


   messageicon it rude to throw a breathmint in someone's mouth while they are talking??
←Rate | 03-23-2013 03:04 by plexking Comments (0)  


   messageicon So there I was, wanking myself off, when suddenly I thought "This prostitute is lazy".
←Rate | 03-23-2013 03:25 by plexking Comments (0)  


   messageicon I believe every single word you say. It's when you put them together to form a sentence that I think it's bullshit.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 11:54 by plexking Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other one is a walrus.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 03:17 by plexking Comments (0)  


   messageicon If people winked as much in real life as they do in text, this world would be a really creepy place.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 03:29 by plexking Comments (0)  


   messageicon Talking to some people is like having to slap an old TV a few times to get the picture.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 03:22 by plexking Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand why mothers say, "I just had a newborn baby." If you just had a baby, the newborn part is assumed. Nobody thinks you just pushed a 2 month old out your crotch.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 03:32 by plexking Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I knew what kind of withdrawals I'm having right now so I could focus more on that particular drug.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 03:06 by plexking Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop referring to yourself as a "woman with curves" when in reality you're a "woman with fat rolls."
←Rate | 03-23-2013 02:55 by plexking Comments (0)  


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