Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 718 of 6382
If Tu-Pac and Biggie were still alive Kanye would be folding T-Shirts at Old Navy right now.
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05-02-2018 06:55
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Confusion: Father's day in the ghetto
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05-02-2018 02:34 by Shain1976
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Netflix and scroll through the selections until it’s too late to start watching anything.
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05-02-2018 01:48
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When I go jogging, I listen to a portable CD player, so people think I’ve been running for 10 years.
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05-02-2018 01:40
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Well, Kanye West did marry into the Kardashian’s so you can just imagine the levels of stupidity in that house
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05-02-2018 01:15
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I must be very good at handling my credit card.... Each month the bank sends me a letter saying my credit card account is outstanding.
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05-02-2018 01:04 by Shain1976
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Life is short..... Unless you're married
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05-01-2018 22:33 by Shain1976
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I only drink on days with a "T" Tuesday, Thursday and Today
Alimony should be spelled allmymoney
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05-01-2018 22:03 by Jake
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Kayne West says slavery was a choice for the blacks. Yeah, Kanye is real normal alright.
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05-01-2018 20:59
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Hillary Clinton, so ugly that when she gives head it should be considered anal.
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05-01-2018 18:30 by Trump3:16
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Ever stare dumbfoundingly at someone wondering how they ever had an opportunity to actually procreate?
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05-01-2018 15:36 by S.P.
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I think the word alimony should be spelled aliMOANy
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05-01-2018 15:35 by Jake
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We are all free to walk our own path. My path is full of my husband’s socks and shoes
I don’t trust people who drive like a turtle and then all of a sudden find the gas pedal and weave in and out of traffic the minute you pass them up. The only impression I have of you is, you must be bipolar
"Dora the Explorer" only rhymes when somebody from Boston says it.
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05-01-2018 10:24
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Sound advice: Never keep your hemroid cream on the same shelf as your toothpaste.
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05-01-2018 09:25 by Jake
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If women are always right,why do they always picking wrong men?
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05-01-2018 08:55
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Patient: Doc, I feel miserable, worthless, unhappy, and I have no money. Doctor: I see...... How long have you been married?
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04-30-2018 23:42 by Jake
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Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. But smoking bacon will cure it.
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04-30-2018 17:51 by Jake
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