love Funny Status Messages

   I may not be the guy you're looking for or the guy who you think you would fall in love with, but I deserve a chance to prove you wrong dammit!

   If you love someone, screw their brains out on a daily basis, and letting them go will never become an issue.

   I love being a father. Children start off as little bundles of joy and eventually grown up to be great at getting you a beer.

   Ladies; Love is giving him the remote...to your vibrator.

   I love how perfect you aren't.

   love is like lottery numbers....gotta keep finding the crappy ones before you get the good ones

   I turn every sexual experience into a love try angle.

   If you don't feel the love on Facebook then you're stalking the wrong people.

   there are 2 kinds of people in this world. Those who love beer and idoits...

   This b itch that started the whole "You can't hurry love" bullsh-it obviously gave terrible blow jobs.

   Our love making is great but it's the talking, cuddling and intimacy I enjoy the most…..ok, she's gone. It's really the sex!!

   When someone yells STOP, I don't know if it's In the Name of Love, it's Hammertime, or that I should Stop, Collaborate, and Listen.

   Love is such a strong word But then again, so is C*NT

   "A gripping tale of love and survival..." is how one reviewer described me tumbling down the stairs while trying to retrieve a stray M&M.

   love just isn't enough to keep two people together. You need money too to finance that shingding.

   Love is.......having sex with someone when you're sober.

   If love is a battlefield, and love is also blind, it makes sense why the outcome is always a huge disaster.

   Just wrote my wedding vows, it says, "I'll love & respect you, for fear of the death penalty for murder." Incase anyone wants to propose...

   You say "love means never having to say you're sorry" What I hear is that essentially your love is a narcissistic sociopathic minefield.

   Never forget to love your family.. because when everyone is in and out of your life, family is always there