Monday Funny Status Messages

   I’m not saying she’s a slut, but she’s been banged more times than a snooze button on Monday morning.

   I'm not saying she's a slut, but she's been banged more than a snooze button on Monday morning.

   Ah yes, Friday. Wha...What was that? Saw it out of the corner of my eye. There, behind the...I just saw it duck down. There it is again disappearing just as I almost get a glimpse of it. MONDAY! I KNOW IT'S YOU, YOU BA$TARD!

   Friday!!! I’m so glad you are back. I’m sorry you had to see me with Monday-Thursday, but I swear I was thinking of you the whole time.

   Screw Daylight Savings Time. Losing an hour on the weekend means we're one hour closer to Monday. Dammit.

   it me, or Monday comes around and your sleepy throughout most of the workday, but after what feels like 5-hours in rushhour traffic, you have enough energy for a Party with free drinks?

   Got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I'm gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist and a priest.

   Why are you all so excited it's Friday? Monday will be here in 5 minutes.

   so ready for that all important holiday coming up, don't forget monday is the presidents day mattress sale

   Friday! There you are, you sexy son of a btich! We've been lookin for you since Monday!

   The search for Friday night is followed much too quickly by the discovery of Monday morning.

   believing Monday will be great is half the bottle...

   Plan for tonight: 1. get off work and drink till Monday. 2. figure the rest out later

   Waking up to Monday is kinda like the Mayans being right.

   24 hours in a day... Except on Monday. That b*tch has at least 50.

   Looking on the bright side, if the Mayans are right, this is the last Monday we'll ever have to deal with.

   How come today is Monday when yesterday was only Friday??

   I guess "Cyber Monday" is NOT what I thought it was. Just got served with 3 restraining orders. :(

   Just finished writing "Cyber Monday does NOT mean what I thought it meant" 100,000x Can I go home now Sister Rose?

   It's Cyber Sex Monday :)