love Funny Status Messages

   Leave it to a collection of random motherf uckers I've never met to make me feel less like shi t, I love you guys

   My mother told me: "alcohol is your worst enemy." Jesus said: "love your enemy." Case closed.

   When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.

   Roses are red, nuts are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it is stiff, stick it in! Not that's a love poem!

   I have an actual date this weekend so if any of you are in love with me, you better say something or forever hold your peace.

   I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.

   I love that you can pee anywhere you want at Wal Mart.

   I love you but I'm not, "I want us to be miserable together," in love with you.

   Love in 2013 means answering each other’s texts immediately.

   If you love somebody... Let them go. If they come back, no one wanted them

   I'm too tired. Go love someone else.

   Unless I see a tombstone of someone who died for not doing so, I won't 'like' your post to prove "love Jesus" or hate cancer.

   I'm having a love/hate relationship with my antihistamines.

   @illuminatedwndr: I love you, but I don't 'Spell your name out with refrigerator magnet letters' love you

   Just once I would love to get a junk email that read..."P*nis englargment?? No way dude! You are set! Forget I even sent this message." Is that too much to ask???

   i have no friends because everyone is in love with me!

   I love my new phone. I can now undate my status while crossing the stre

   I love New England!!! (Clam Chowder)

   I love honeymoon but without the marriage.

   I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend…until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a parking lot...