Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Bad Spellers Untie!

   offering to buy 85% of GM with 10% more than the Government offer. payment will be by Creit Card.

   hitting higher highs, and lower lows

   Just figured out Blues Clues!!!!

   drinking till I'm someone else's problem

   stuck in second gear.

   feels used and unwanted, like the two chocolate halves of an Oreo cookie after someone has already licked the cream out of them.

   give me what I want, and no one gets hurt

   not shy -- I'm studying my prey.

   can't find Tom on facebook.

   FREE TIBET! *Offer only valid with purchase of another Tibet of equal or greater value. Void where prohibited"

   loves to read status updates like "I'm really bored" and "I'm at work right now". Good stuff. Keep me posted...thanks!

   hoping that she remebers last nite cause I dont.

   watching the biggest loser and eating oreos

   Feeling a little groggy today. I think my check-engine light has come on.

   pondering some of life's great mysteries. Like, why are we here?, is there life on Mars? and why doesn't Donald duck wear pants?

   leting his eye lashes hug each other for few hours.

   happy that the Statute of Limitations has finally expired, and he can finally admit that he is, in fact, the one who let the dogs out.

   doing the Helen Keller and talking with her hips.

   single...and you're going to have to be freakin' awesome to change that!!