Me Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon An empty web browsing history is a sure sign of guilt.
←Rate | 12-17-2010 22:37 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music of the internet.
←Rate | 01-06-2011 13:33 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon AT&T and T-Mobile are getting married, There will be no reception.
←Rate | 03-22-2011 09:26 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early and I am too.
←Rate | 05-03-2013 15:06 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon seeing all these profile pics of old men in honor of Father's Day is giving me the creeps. My wall looks more like a list of sex offenders..
←Rate | 06-18-2011 13:25 by me Comments (1)  

   messageicon Wow I slept like an air traffic controller last night.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 14:43 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon To the brave souls who lost their lives tragically 9 years ago today.. may you never be forgotten R.I.P
←Rate | 09-10-2010 22:24 by me Comments (0)  

   messageicon Conversations that start with "Don't get mad" seldom end that way.
←Rate | 05-05-2013 07:46 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thinks facebook has ruined school reunions.. now everyone knows your full of sh*t before you get there..
←Rate | 09-10-2010 21:42 by me Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders why everyone on facebook looks like they had a stroke I mean seriously that facial expression is stupid, and holding up the peace sign doesnt make you look any smarter.
←Rate | 07-28-2010 02:52 by me Comments (1)  

   messageicon you're not fat, you are just easy to see
←Rate | 01-06-2012 22:29 by me Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every time I see Renee Zellweger on screen I want to hand her an antihistamine.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 16:58 by me Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whats the differentce between A Jersey girl and a piece of trash? People pick up trash.
←Rate | 01-21-2011 14:57 by ME Comments (0)  

   messageicon Im using internet explorer so I hope this isnt too late. Happy new year 2009
←Rate | 06-12-2013 11:47 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sign seen at Bank window: "We don't mind you talking on your cell phone as long as you don't mind us IGNORING YOU! Thank you so much!"
←Rate | 02-08-2012 04:32 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon If ever you get sad, think of a T-Rex trying to masturbate
←Rate | 02-05-2012 04:49 by me Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am a member of NSS( National Sarcastic Society).Our motto:"Like we Need your approval"
←Rate | 08-22-2011 05:14 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon RODEO SEX: while having sex call her the wrong name and try to hold on for 8 seconds
←Rate | 12-19-2010 15:30 by Me Comments (6)  

   messageicon salutes Dr. Seuss, who died today in 1991. Cats in hats, green eggs, Whoville? Thanks for the inspiration to take drugs!
←Rate | 09-24-2010 07:26 by me Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only thing instant glue sticks to instantly is fingers.
←Rate | 04-13-2013 10:38 by Me Comments (0)  

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