Funny Status Messages

   thinks throwback week is almost as much fun as post your bra color week.

   did anyone ever find out what The Rock was cooking? I always hoped it was lasagne

   the economy is soo bad that The Mafia is laying off judges...

   been so depressed thinking about the economy I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

   can't get this nicorette stuff lit.

   gave old clothes for Haïti today. It's not much but it's much more helpful than prayers. People in Haïti don't need your useless prayers. They need concrete help!

   needs some more girl's phone numbers so far I have my mom's, grandma's, and aunt's.

   thinks Ty Pennington and Extreme Makeover Home Edition has a couple years worth of shows in Haiti

   a justification for procrastination. Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Delay may give clearer light as to what is best to be done.

   thinks that you can only be young once, but you can always be immature.

   "I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead."

   quotes, "The two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change." ~ Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy)

   No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed

   ohhh I have 2 headaches, and being a guy I can only supply enough blood to one of them..... sigh

   The U.S. is always helping out other countries in their time of need, well I think its safe to say that the U.S. needs help....were's our relief funds?!

   ESPN has announced that they are launching a 3D sports network. Industry analysts say this will absolutely revolutionize the way Americans don't watch soccer.

   Joan rivers was reportedly very angry the other day because she was prevented from entering the country by airline security. Man, you should have seen the face she wanted to make.

   Two doctors are talking, one asks the other one "Can I borrow your Dictaphone" the other replied "No, you have to use your finger like everyone else!"

   "This page intentionally left blank" -phone bill, page 56

   just ate a Beefy 5 Layer Burrito at Taco Bell for lunch. A guy that works there gives them to me for $0.89 each. He must like me or something.