Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   remembers a time when 'Binge Drinking' was simply called 'Getting Pissed'

   taken by elves and is now fighting the forces of healthy produce with my lollipop of justice Ahhhhhhhh! A broccoli with problems is in the area I repeat a broccoli with problems is in the area please quickly run for cover!

   so easy a Cavewoman can Do him

   There 10 types of people in the world, the ones who understand Binary and ones who don't

   ust once I wanna see one of these food network hosts taste their dish they just made and freak out and say how horrible it tastes. Just once!

   Buddy the Elf. What's your favorite color?

   There are 2 types of people on Facebook: those who have a way with words, and the others, who, don't... not... have... way.

   Just came back from hell I was stuck in the red twisty tube at chuck e cheese....being poked at and laughed at by brats!

   strong enough to live without you but not strong enough to stop thinking about you. i'm strong enough not to cry when I hear your name but not strong enough to stop loving you

   looking for a mistletoe belt. Depending on who is around will decide on how I face that person.

   s friends think that i'm crazy...pft...i just thought the postbox needed a hug

   tonight the role of "husband/boyfriend" will be played by Jack Rabbit.

   that a person who really loves you is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everoyone else still believes in the smile on your face

   that sometimes you just meed to be with the person who makes you smile even if that means waiting

   old enought to know better...but young enough not to give a rats ass

   loves those nights that turn into mornings and those friends that turn into lovers

   my life may not be perfect, my life may not be pretty, my life may have its ups and its downs. my life has its joy7s and its tears but it is my life

   that one day I may care......but not today

   feeling down and the only one who can cheer her up is nowhere to be seen

   we all make mistakes in our lives, just be strong enough to pick youself up, dust it off & walk away with your head held high. no one is perfect