santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   People who buy real Christmas Trees the day after Thanksgiving need some serious help...And if you have your tree up already...You should probably seek medical attention..

   The best thing about partaking in the secret santa at work means I can finally give one special lady the mustache trimmer she so desperately needs.

   Dear Santa: I have been good for the past week or so. Lets just focus on that.

   Please tell me there is not a game of naming one thing you want from now til Christmas

   If you were to combine all the holidays, you'd eat turkey, give presents, hide eggs, light fireworks, and dress like a sIutty nurse all in the same day.

   There are four stages of life; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.

   The radio shouldve started playing thanksgiving music instead of christmas music but the only song I can think of is Adam Sandlers Thanksgiving Song.

   Dear Santa, This year please bring me a big fat bank account and a slim body. Please don't mix them up as you have in previous years. Thanks!

   That uneasy moment when Edward Cullen and Santa Clause run into each other because they're both watching you sleep.

   I love to use the holidays as an excuse to gift, re-gift and de-gift meaningless merchandise.....I wonder if that would qualify me as an "Indian Gifter"? ツ

   I remmeber last year at christmas my ex girlfriend was so pissed that I gave her mother a mustache trimmer.

   My girlfriend wants something for Christmas that goes 0-200 in 3 seconds...So I think I will get her a scale.

   If a telemarketer calls give the phone to your 3 yr old, and tell them its Santa Clause

   I am probably going to start my Christmas shopping this weekend. I am not sure which place is better, the Dollar Store, or the 99 Cent store.

   thankful that I have a job and can afford a nice Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas...and beer

   Someone could get rich opening a business that untangles Christmas lights. Grrr....

   You may be pushing Christmas a little too much if you take your candle out of your Jack-O-Lantern and stick it in your Window!!...Just Sayin..

   Every time a Christmas tree is lit before Thanksgiving, an elf drowns a baby reindeer.

   So I hear Sandusky's Santa application has been rejected...

   If your parents ever call you a liar, just say "Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa". Then walk away like a BOSS!