Funny Status Messages

   Today is National, "I Really Don't Give a $hit" Day". 92% of FB Users won't post this to their profile status, will you or don't you give a $hit either?

   learned an important lesson yesterday, Rice Krispies and hangovers do not go good together. First time she ever had to tell a bowl of ceral to shut the f*ck up!!

   Hangover in progress.....please donot disturb

   Have you ever been so bored you started a rumor about yourself just to argue on the other end of it...

   says Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups..,,.!! :P

   Women prefer men who have something tender about them -- especially the financial kind.

   A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.

   The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him

   I serve my "fck you's" with a smile. It just has a better effect that way. Don't you think?

   Whenever I sing,i put the cat in the front yard. That way,the neighbours can see it and know it's not being strangled.

   if pickles weren't so sour, I would watch tv and jump on the car. I mean the goblins...never mind..no more LSD for me

   Harrassment: A mint flavored pill that a female injects into her rectum to freshen it.

   there's only one Return and it's not of the King, it's of the Jedi.

   Dilemma. Do I wash dishes or do I attempt to eat Cornflakes from a cup with a knife?

   Son of a GOD!!! SACHIN!!! Couldn't beleive my eyes when I saw 200 not out next to Sachin Tendulkar. Another unbreakable record added to d list.

   Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere.

   Cheryl Cole changed her relationship status to "single". 45 million people liked this.

   Feels horrible because he just congratulated a woman on a baby she wasnt having!!! Oops!

   AHHHH! A student driver! AHHHHH! In a Toyota! We're all gonna die!!!

   Please Don't Give me The "Sorry, He's Not Usually Like this, He's Really Sweet When it's Just us Two Alone Speech" maybe you should, um.. give it to Yourself!"