Funny Status Messages

   you cant drink all day if you dont start in the morning

   loves nerds 2² ever...

   thinks movies are ruining books since 1920.

   I think video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two extra lives...

   thinks rock is dead. And paper killed it!

   not bitter. I'm just unsweetened...

   an organ donor (see inside for details)...

   will resist peer pressure. All the cool kids are doing it...

   was thrown out of a casino for misunderstanding the use of a crap table.

   all for the paperless office, but doesn't think it should stretch to the toilets...

   wondering why a “fat chance” and a “slim chance” mean the same thing.

   MOTORISTS: When going through a speed camera, flash your lights twice

   No man goes before his time....... Unless the boss leaves early...

   Everybody hates me because I'm so universally well-liked...

   oral sex is a lot like smoking a cigarette...the flavor gets stronger the closer you get to the butt....

   thinking that Jeffrey Dahmer is the only person whose bologna really did have a first name.....

   Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

   has been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog...

   WOW! THATS A LOW PRICE!

   I'm no volcanologist but has anyone tried throwing in a few virgins?