Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Dear Terrorist, I don't get why you kill people in the name of God. If God wanted to take someone's life, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be asking for your help.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 13:14 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon life is short. have a ball, better yet have two
←Rate | 05-04-2010 13:13 by sammy g Comments (0)  


   messageicon In these times, when a celebrity cheats on his wife with multiple women, he gets criticized and exploited everywhere. Back in the founding father days, a man cheats and his face ends up on the 1, 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100 dollar bill.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 13:12 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon how many tweets could tweetybird tweet if tweetybird could tweet tweets
←Rate | 05-04-2010 12:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon was thinking, if lesbians use vibrators......isn't that cheating?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 11:43 by who cares Comments (0)  


   messageicon would it be cruel to kidnap a man and keep him for purely sexual reasons?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 11:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon would if be cruel to kidnap a man and keep him for purely sexual reasons?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 11:37 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Mmmmm..ice cream sandwiches....i feel like such a tool though after chasing the ice cream truck screaming "wait, ice cream man"!
←Rate | 05-04-2010 11:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon giggles everytime I see a "no shoes, no shirt, no service" sign. I am guessing that they don't care if you come in bare a$$ed?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 10:36 by QueenBee404 Comments (0)  


   messageicon May the 4th be with you...but I need a Fifth.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 10:15 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  


   messageicon has been temporarily disconnected from AT&T...and my iPhone...where in the hell am I?!
←Rate | 05-04-2010 08:58 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if a strap-on is considered an artificial limb?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 08:10 by Caring-Stalker Comments (1)  


   messageicon A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 07:50 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves the smell of a home-cooked breakfast...mmmm bacon...now how do I get that smell in my house?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 07:14 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I win the 265 millon California lottery this week , I am gunna fly to Somalia and collect all the trillons of Dollars I've won from all My DEAD realatives and take over the world !!!
←Rate | 05-04-2010 07:01 by bigboyindiego Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if a strap-on is considered as an artificial limb?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 06:59 by Caring-Stalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon seen Willy's Wonka and is not impressed.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 06:53 by Caring-Stalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to Japan and got myself a discount prostitute. She love me moderate time.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 03:51 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't call you Fred Flintstone because I thought you could make my bed rock!! ;-) I called you Fred Flintstone because that brick of a line was prehistoric!! ;-p Practice your game
←Rate | 05-04-2010 01:28 by Dizzydizzydiva Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thought about staying home from work today but then I remembered the thousands of people on welfare are depending on me, I owe I owe its off to work I go.....
←Rate | 05-04-2010 01:12 by Corey C Comments (0)  




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