Funny Status Messages

   "Characters did not match verification code. Please try again." Of course it didn't. You gave me 3 squiggle things and an upside down 4.

   choo choo...Lindsay Lohan...WHAT A TRAIN WRECK!

   She is so slutty, her facebook wall has a glory hole!

   ______________is so gay, he is trying to drill a glory hole in his facebook wall.

   you know my name not my story.

   If I have to buy you a present when you get married, then you have to buy me a present when you get divorced. It's only fair.

   I don't know why people say something is better if you work for it. Personally, I love being handed awesome sh*t through no effort of my own.

   Dont kill yourself to LIVE!!!

   I rarely get distracted, but the other . . . .brb.

   Add My BB Pin » Y3hR1ght

   Every 7-eleven needs a task force NOT named Punjab, Aadarsh, Aachman, Aadesh ,Aadi ,Aadidev ,Aafreen ,Aaka ,Aandaleeb to keep the slurpee machine running because this sh*t is UNACCEPTABLE.

   Blind hookers...ya gotta hand it to em!

   I don't know why people say something is better if you work for it. Personally, I love being handed awesome sh*t through no effort of my own.

   I really wish sleep came in roll-over minutes.

   having one of those days where I wanna set someones face on fire and try putting it out wit a fork

   I wish I had a room in my house that had zero gravity.

   I ordered the food, seatbelted the dog in the drivers seat and pushed the car up to the drive-thru window.

   I definitely thought we'd have some futuristic Jetsons sh*t by now.

   Every time you fart as you're walking through first class getting on a plane, Jesus high-fives your grandmother.

   I'd rather have my arms fall off than make two trips carrying in groceries.