Mark Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Tim Tebow is the most talked about white Bronco since the O.J. chase.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 16:53 by mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
←Rate | 07-21-2011 08:49 by Mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought by the time I was a successful 48 year old adult, I'd be tired of putting people's yard reindeers in sex positions...... I was wrong
←Rate | 12-17-2011 16:51 by mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seems Taylor Swift is dating a Kennedy. Let's hope she owns a life jacket. :-/
←Rate | 09-23-2012 22:19 by Mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone knows spray tans and Tang come from the same stem cells as Cheetos, so why does Wikipedia keep deleting my edits?
←Rate | 06-05-2012 13:41 by mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking News: U.S. Terror Alert Level is now raised to “Confetti”
←Rate | 05-02-2011 12:18 by Mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stumbled into bed late last night. "You're drunk," she said. "AND, you live next door."
←Rate | 09-05-2012 18:37 by Mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new study reveals that parents who spend more time on their smartphones have more negative interactions with their children. While parents who spend less time on their smartphones are really mad that they forgot their charger.
←Rate | 03-11-2014 19:35 by Mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always chase joggers with my car to motivate them. It's a thankless job....
←Rate | 12-09-2011 21:25 by mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon A friend asked me if I was enjoying my new mountainbike. I told him I was. He said, "Just be careful, you could sustain testicular damage from all that riding." I laughed, "Buddy, I'm a married man. I haven't had possesion of my testicles for over 16 year
←Rate | 09-13-2010 22:20 by Mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon A 24 hour weather channel? Why? We had the same thing like that when I was growing up... it was called a window...
←Rate | 12-14-2011 19:35 by mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon played golf today...I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...
←Rate | 03-22-2009 22:53 by Mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought I'd join the neighbor hood watch but my neighbors aren't that attractive..
←Rate | 12-10-2011 06:42 by mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lawmakers here in New York are considering a plan to bring slot machines to LaGuardia Airport. Of course there's always that other way to gamble at LaGuardia — checking a bag.
←Rate | 03-20-2014 20:47 by Mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon the only person in history to beat my niece at Wii tennis! Yes, I made her play left-handed, but I don't think that should lessen the significance of my victory.
←Rate | 12-26-2010 13:50 by Mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife isn't speaking to me. All because I didn't open the car door for her. I guess I just panicked and swam to the surface.
←Rate | 02-26-2011 20:42 by mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon Iron Man is a super hero. Iron Woman is a command.
←Rate | 01-14-2012 21:56 by mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun Fact of The Day: Barbies get fat too, if you microwave them
←Rate | 02-20-2012 09:58 by mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what a camel thinks of when he looks at his toe...
←Rate | 07-07-2010 20:32 by mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook now automatically scans your brain through your monitor. To block, go to your kitchen cabinet and remove the box of aluminum foil. Wrap foi laround your head, stay calm, and breathe through your left nostril. This is a serious problem. Copy & pas
←Rate | 08-31-2010 13:39 by Mark Comments (0)  



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