Funny Status Messages

   Breaking News: The National Weather Center has issued a tornado warning for Western NY. For your own safety head to Ralph Wilson Stadium, they're not worried about a touchdown there.......

   Majot Internet Lie committed by everyone: I Have read & agreed to the terms & conditions.

   facebook should have a "like" button and a "like omg" for blondes

   Where do babies come from? Two teenagers and a six-pack

   heard about the new miracle diet? Its called "The Garlic Diet", where you eat nothing but garlic, and you instantly look thinner... from a distance...

   Liking your own comment is like the facebook version of self-pleasure.

   Lamp shades: Hats of the future

   I'm gonna keep poking you until you bruise.

   I never read and will never read your 55 page terms of use. I will always agree, so stop asking me to confirm that I read it.

   When you don't remember someones name, you wait for someone else to say it so you can pretend like you knew it all along.

   I didn't get your call really means "I hate you, stop calling me."

   When I die, I give you permission to change my status to, "is dead."

   We have all experienced the pain of watching a slow typer.

   It's recycling day and based on the bin I just put out, there's a fraternity that I don't know about living somewhere in my house.

   I hate when I look in the mirror and see an adult.

   I'm off to hit the treadmill. If it doesn't break or hit me back, I may even walk or run on it.

   I hate waiting for someone to illegally upload so I can illegally download.

   The only thing worse than being up at 6am is still being up at 6am.

   stop taking life so seriously, noone is getting out alive anyway...

   not suffering from insanity. Hes embracing every second of it.