love Funny Status Messages

   I love pillow talk as much as the next guy but saying "Put your needle in my haystack" isn't exactly a confidence builder.

   You guys, how can true love still exist if we don't have mixed tapes anymore?

   Loyal women will love you while you're broke; a ho will love you till you're broke

   Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.

   If love had a smell, it would smell like pizza & puppy breath.

   "I love speaking for others" --- ventriloquists

   How to politely answer to an insult: "I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as good as nature did..."

   Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

   "I'd LOVE to lick your mackerel but I CAN'T! Michael Douglas says it'll give me throat cancer!"

   what I won't do for love......i might do for a klondike bar~!!!

   How to murder someone: tell them you love them so much, and then go on to forget about their existence.

   I love going for walks in the rain. You can pee your pants and no one will be the wiser ツ

   If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don't love anything.

   What Meatloaf wouldn't do for love, I'd probably do for a Klondike bar.

   I love science too. But not enough to warrant profanity.

   Shut your legs love, I can smell your issues from over here.

   Just dropped a cigarette between my car seat & the console & now I know what Courtney Love feels like when she's trying to find a good vein.

   I love you so much I'll eat this pizza to prove it.

   I love you all and I am so glad I found you. (me talking to a bag of peanut M & M's I forgot I had

   You women are beautiful creatures I love you all , but by god you scare the sh*t out of me with the way you feed on souls and happiness.